Thursday, April 01, 2004

Alright mate, I haven't seen you for a while.

The Past: I've been watching an awful lot of sport (and a lot of awful sport in some cases). Wales' Six Nations campaign involved smashing Scotland, capitulating tamely against Ireland, battling bravely without ever really threatening France and England, and smashing Italy. So, summed up in an abbreviated nutshell, O.K.-ish. When not watching Wales win entertainingly/bravely submit to the bigger boys (delete as appropriate), I've been watching Telford United. I must have previoulsy untapped masochistic tendancies. Telford Utd have been worse with money than BDM. In fact they are nearly bust, so I've been getting down while thay are still there! Then after watching a bore-draw against Canvey Island, it hit me, I haven't seen Telford win since 1989! Maybe I'm a jinx. Maybe they don't want me there. If I am a live football jinx, then I may fork out for a Man United season ticket!

Welcome to BrumI went on a course on Monday in Birmingham. What a hole, especially that train station. I could feel the desiel fumes coating my lungs as I stared up at the cocktail of soot, pigoens and concrete that comprises the ceiling, waiting, waiting for the 4:35 one-carriage death-carton back to Wellington. If bombs went off down there I think the City Council would reward the bombers. Mind you, looking at the Bullring and Mail-Box re-developments they'd probably only put a few Gap shops and a Subway sarnie shack down there. All High Streets look the same. Ah well, it'll all change when I'm in charge.

The Present: I'm currently watching the Test Match from beautiful Barbados (that's the cricket that's in Barbados suprisingly, not me!), while listening to The Specials. There is a large, loud and drunken English support there, noticable by their Red Stripe-filled beetroot-hued bellies hanging over their Union Jack shorts, while they sing football chants with tenuous cricket-related lyrics crowbarred into the 'tune' ("Only one Steve Harmison, there's only one...", "Wooooh woooh Michael Vaughan", and my favourite "Are you watching Australia?"!). I'm now listening to The Clash - White Man in Hammersmith Palais, they dun't mek 'em like that no more! Got 'im, big Freddie Flintoff's just bowled another!

The Future: Tomorrow night I'm off to Stafford for a double-header leaving party, where I'm reminded yet again that like soothsaying rats, all my drinking buddies are evacuating the good ship Bentley Jennison. Maybe they can see the iceberg up ahead, drifting off the coast of Redundancyland. It's so dead at our place people are fighting over themselves to ask me if I have any work for them to do. Flexi time has just been introduced, not for some wise morale-boosting reason, but they know people will abuse it, and hence they'll only have to pay people for the hours they actually work. I'm alright Jack, as the Payroll speedboat crunches into yet another gear as it cruises muscularly across Lake Financial-Year-End.