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Saturday, February 04, 2006

Don't Mess With Maths Kids

The result of a huge worldwide survey are in. The votes have been counted and a tidy-looking pie chart has been created.



Everyone knows you can't argue with statistics, so I'm proud to announce the new, improved Blog of Stavros. It's now a real bona-fide website, with me own address and everything. In orange. Wow. Like the ambassador with a tray of nutty chocs, Blog of Stavros spoils you lot it really does. Please update your links and bookmarks and all that cack.

Remember, please enjoy Blog of Stavros responsibly and always read the label.

Stav.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

It's good but it's not right

Much like many a soft-rock gig-goer in late Eighties West Germany, I can hear the wind of change. Luckily it's not the frigging Scorpions I'm listening to. Four weeks into the New Year and I think my resolution is becoming clear. I'm looking for a job and home in Aberystwyth. After two interviews in the last couple of weeks, I know I'm not unemployable or shackled to my current employers. Basically, I know my shit. I think this has opened my eyes to the possibilities. Game on!

In other news: my original New Year's resolution is not going too well. I've not eaten anything vaguely weird yet. Oh yeah, I think I'm in love with some bird I've seen on Flickr. I'm not saying anymore because frankly it's fucking weird. At least I'm not stalking... yet. I don't know if the Wispa campaign will work, the response was less than overwhelming, but even Che Guavara started somewhere. At least my campaigning is less stomache-churning than pube-headed Coldplay frontman Chris Twattin.

The gentrification of football continues with the frankly ludicrous decision to fine Gary Neville, not for the understandable reason of him being a ratty faced oik, but for the dreadful crime of celebrating a last-gasp win against their fiercest rivals. The mind boggles, it really does. I can see the day when the football authorities drives all but the prawn-buttie types away. But would they be bothered? Not so baffling was the big news about the managerial casualty. No, not Sven. Bernard McNally of course. AFC Telford couldn't be closer to the bottom if they were dancing lambada with a randy Italian bloke (just me then?). Hopefully they'll stay up, and keep the big crowds (which are still among the highest in non-league, despite being two levels lower than the Conference). There should be a big crowd on Saturday, I might take some piccies.

Stav.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Hardcore Campaigner

You know our kid has a political streak, well I thought it was about time I campaigned for summat. So I looked at protesting for a free Palestine, I looked at Heathrow's third runway and the destruction of Sipson village. In the end the fight that most needed my support and worldwide influence was the campaign to bring back the Wispa. Cadbury's ended the life of the Wispa in 2003, incorporating the delicious bubbliness into their 'superbrand' Dairy Milk Bubbly. This, as I told Cadbury's in an email on Sunday, was an ultimately inferior replacement.

To be fair, my well written plea did augment a response (although that may have been the threat to defect to Aero).

Thanks for your e-mail . This product has been discontinued.
Consumer preferences do change from time to time and as a
major manufacturer it is important that Cadbury maintain a
wide range of products that meet consumer demands. There are no
plans to re-introduce this product in the immediate future, but
there is a chance that you may see it again at some time.
Thanks again for your E-mail.
Charlie
Cadbury Consumer Relations Department


Nice of Charlie to answer, but I don't quite feel as if he was buckling under the pressure. I'm not the first to campaign, and I hope I won't be the last. You know what to do comrades. Don't fail me or the British confectionary-buying public. No more inferior products, consumerism has to be democratic.

Chairman Stav.

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Thursday, January 12, 2006

New as in not old

One and a half weeks into the new year, and I've already done two things that are newish to me. First, on Friday I had a job interview at a large Japanese manufacturers. My first ever proper interview. It went quite well, but the job wasn't what I wanted (lime green jackets, huge open plan office, strict timekeepers, angry factory workers at your desk when their pay is wrong because they've not clocked in etc). This was lucky because I wasn't what they wanted neither (isolationist, scruffy, bad timekeeper, Machiavellian, habitual slurfer, general maverick of the payroll world etc).

Second experience of the week was on Tuesday. I had a check up at the dentist. In November a dental surgery moved in next door to my office. So I joined. It was as I entered the dentist's torture chamber, did I first realise the extent of my actions. Here I was looking at that chair, at that bright light, all those scrapey things and phials of multi-coloured liquids bubbling away like in Doctor Frankenstein's games room. Then she appeared. I say 'she'. I'm not that certain. She did have the face of a woman. But the strength of a ox and the fingers of Andy Fordham. She was surprised by my honesty of alcohol intake in units a week, I'm presuming it was my honesty that surprised her, I rather meakly suggested I must've miscalculated. That said I wouldn't have taken her on in a drinking contest. So I don't clean my teeth vigorously enough (maybe that's why her arms were like railway sleepers), and I should use a mouthwash, and I've got to go back for a scale and polish. Not so bad really, considering that's all I had done last time I visited a dentist back in 1995. I just hope there's some teeth left after she's finished with them. I imagine she uses one of those industrial floor polishers they use on school halls.

Stav.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Festivities crash and burn

I trust you all had an adequately indulgent Christmas. I did. There's some pictures about somewhere of the Day-After-Boxing-Day Party (where I spectacularly out-drunk everyone - especially Monsieur Pardoe) and the New Year's Party (where I didn't, but I did win a little gory nodding head thing in a raffle).

Some scientist or other reckons today is the most depressing day of the year (must be true it's in the Sun), though the Telegraph reckon it's on the 23rd. Well for me, the first day back at work is a day of frustration and relief. I'm stuck at home with a bitching cold, beige ooze appearing from a different facial orifice every half-hour. But I'm not at work, I've had soup and watched an old Buffy episode and now I'm listening to Bob Dylan so things ain't that bad.

Merk's made some pretty big new year's resolutions, hopefully one is less make-up for 2006. Me however, I don't normally make them, I mean if it ain't broke why fix it. This year I have decided to try more meat. I was supposed to eat venison at me mam's Christmas party, but that didn't happen because of the appendicitis, so I've still never eaten venison. Nor pheasant, grouse, goose, goat, bison, rabbit, pigeon, kangaroo, squid, lobster, and a whole host of fish. By the end of 2006 I hope I've tried to eat most types of animals on this planet. I see myself as a kind of Noah figure, but with fork not ark.

Stav.